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        Personal
        Story © 2000
 by: Dr. Hal Kushner
 1/9 Cav, 1 Cav Div
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        At the 1st Cav reunion DR Hal Kushner,who serve with 1/9 Cav, 1 Cav Div, in Vietnam,
 told the story of his service in Vietnam and his horrible ordeals,
 extreme pain and suffering and unflinching loyalty and honor
 to the United States Army and our country.
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    | The
      words of Dr. Hal Kushner: | 
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        I
          want you to know that I don't do this often. I was captured 2 Dec.1967,
          and returned to American control on 16 Mar.1973. For those of you good at
          arithmetic - 1931 days. Thus it has been 32 years since capture and 26
          years since my return. I have given a lot of talks, about medicine, about
          ophthalmology, even about the D-Day Invasion as I was privileged to go to
          Normandy and witness the 50th anniversary of the invasion in Jun.1944. | 
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        But
          not about my captivity. I don't ride in parades; I don't open shopping
          centers; I don't give interviews and talks about it. I have tried very
          hard NOT to be a professional PW. My philosophy has always been to look
          forward, not backward, to consider the future rather than the past. That's
          a hell'uva thing to say at a reunion, I guess. In 26 years, I've given
          only two interviews and two talks. One to my hometown newspaper, one to
          the Washington Post in 1973, and a talk at Ft. Benning in 1991 and to the
          Military Flight Surgeons in 1993. I've refused 1,000 invitations to speak
          about my experiences. But you don't say no to the 1-9th, and you don't say
          no to your commander. COL Bob Nevins and COL Pete Booth asked me to do
          this and so I said yes sir and prepared the talk. It will probably be my
          last one. | 
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        I was
          a 26-year-old young doctor, just finished 9 years of education, college at
          the University of North Carolina, med school at Medical College of VA, a
          young wife and 3 year old daughter. I interned at the hospital in which I
          was born, Tripler Army Med Center in Honolulu, HI. While there, I was
          removed from my internship and spent most of my time doing orthopedic
          operations on wounded soldiers and Marines. We were getting hundreds of
          wounded GIs there, and filled the hospital. After the hospital was filled,
          we created tents on the grounds and continued receiving air evac patients.
          So I knew what was happening in Vietnam. I decided that I wanted to be a
          flight surgeon. I had a private pilot's license and was interested in
          aviation. So after my internship at Tripler, I went to Ft. Rucker and to
          Pensacola and through the Army and Navy's aviation medicine program and
          then deployed to Vietnam. While in basic training and my E&E course,
          they told us that as Doctors, we didn't have to worry about being
          captured. Doctors and nurses they said were not PWs, they were detained
          under the Geneva Convention. If they treated us as PWs, we should show our
          Geneva Convention cards and leave. It was supposed to be a joke and it was
          pretty funny at the time. | 
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        I
          arrived in Vietnam in Aug.1967 and went to An Khe. I was told that the
          Div. needed two flight surgeons; one to be the div. flight surgeon at An
          Khe in the rear and the other to be surgeon for the 1-9th, a unit actively
          involved with the enemy. I volunteered for the 1-9th. The man before me,
          CPT Claire Shenep had been killed and the dispensary was named the Claire
          Shenep Memorial Dispensary. Like many flight surgeons, I flew on combat
          missions in helicopters, enough to have earned three air medals and one of
          my medics, SSG Jim Zeiler used to warn me: "Doc, you better be
          careful. We'll be renaming that dispensary, the K&S Memorial
          Dispensary." | 
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        I was
          captured on 2 Dec 67 and held for five and a half years until 16 Mar 73. I
          have never regretted the decision that I made that Aug to be the 1-9th
          flight surgeon. Such is the honor and esteem that I hold the squadron. I
          am proud of the time I was the squadron's flight surgeon. | 
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        On 30
          Nov.1967, I went to Chu Lai with MAJ Steve Porcella, WO-1 Giff Bedworth
          and SGT McKeckney, the crew chief of our UH-1H. I gave a talk to a troop
          at Chu Lai on the dangers of night flying. The weather was horrible, rainy
          and windy, and I asked MAJ Porcella, the A/C commander, if we could spend
          the night and wait out the weather. | 
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        He
          said, "Our mission is not so important but we have to get the A/C
          back." I'll never forget the devotion to duty of this young officer;
          it cost him his life. | 
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        While
          flying from Chu Lai to LZ Two Bits, I thought we had flown west of Hwy. 1,
          which would be off course. I asked Steve if we had drifted west. He called
          the ATC at Duc Pho and asked them to find him. The operator at Duc Pho
          said that he had turned on his radar off at 2100. He said, "Do you
          want me to turn it on and find you?" MAJ Porcella replied "Roj"
          and that was the last thing he ever said. The next thing I knew I was
          recovering from unconsciousness in a burning helicopter which seemed to be
          upside down. I tried to unbuckle my seat belt and couldn't use my left
          arm. I finally managed to get unbuckled and immediately dropped and almost
          broke my neck. My helmet was plugged into commo and the wire held me as I
          dropped out of the seat which was inverted. The helicopter was burning.
          Poor MAJ Porcella was crushed against the instrument panel and either
          unconscious or dead. Bedworth was thrown, still strapped in his seat, out
          of the chopper. His right anklebones were fractured and sticking through
          the nylon of his boot. SGT Mac was unhurt but thrown clear and
          unconscious. I tried to free Porcella by cutting his seatbelt and moving
          his. However, I was unable to. The chopper burned up and I suffered burns
          on my hands and buttocks and had my pants burned off. While trying to free
          Porcella, some of the M-60 rounds cooked off and I took a round through
          the left shoulder and neck. My left wrist and left collarbone were broken
          in the crash, and I lost or broke 7 upper teeth. | 
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        Well,
          after we assessed the situation - we had no food or water, no flares, no
          first aid kit or survival gear. We had two 38 pistols and 12 rounds, one
          seriously wounded WO co-pilot, a moderately wounded doctor, and an unhurt
          crew chief. We thought we were close to Duc Pho and Hwy 1 and close to
          friendlies. Bedworth and I decided to send Mac for help at first light. | 
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        We
          never saw him again. Later, 6 years later, COL Nevins told me that SGT Mac
          had been found about 10 miles from the crash site, shot and submerged in a
          rice paddy. | 
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        So on
          that night of 30 Nov.1967 I splinted Bedworth's leg, with tree branches,
          made a lean-to from the door of the chopper, and we sat in the rain for
          three days and nights. We just sat there. We drank rainwater. On the third
          morning, he died. We could hear choppers hovering over our crash site and
          I fired most of the rounds from our 38's trying to signal them, but cloud
          cover was so heavy and the weather so bad, they never found us. I took the
          compass from the burned out helicopter and tried to go down the mountain
          towards the east and, I believed, friendlies. My glasses were broken or
          lost in the crash and I couldn't see well: the trail was slippery and I
          fell on rocks in a creek bed and cracked a couple of ribs. I had my left
          arm splinted to my body with my army belt. My pants were in tatters and
          burned. I had broken teeth and a wound in my shoulder. I hadn't eaten or
          drunk anything but rainwater for three days. I looked and felt like hell.
          One of the cruel ironies of my life, you know how we all play the what if
          games, what if I hadn't done this or that, well, when I finally reached
          the bottom of the mountain, I estimated 4 hours after first light, the
          weather cleared and I saw choppers hovering over the top. I knew I
          couldn't make it up the mountain, and had to take my chances. But if I had
          only waited another 4 hours | 
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        I
          started walking up the trail and saw a man working in a rice paddy. He
          came over and said Dai-wi, Bac-si- CPT Doctor. He took me to a little
          hootch, sat me down and gave me a can of sweetened condensed milk and a
          C-ration can, can opener and spoon. This stuff was like pudding and it
          billowed out of the can and was the best tasting stuff I ever had. I felt
          very safe at that point. One minute later, my host led a squad of 14 VC
          with two women and 12 rifles came upon me. The squad leader said, "Surrenda
          no kill." He put his hands in the air and I couldn't because my left
          arm was tied to my body. He shot me with an M2 carbine and wounded me
          again in the neck. After I was apprehended, I showed my captors my Geneva
          Convention card, white with a red cross. He tore it up. He took my dogtags
          and medallion which had a St. Christopher's (medal) on one side and a Star
          of David on the other, which my dad had given me before leaving. They tied
          me with commo wire in a duck wing position, took my boots and marched me
          mostly at night for about 30 days. The first day they took me to a cave,
          stripped my fatigue jacket off my back, tied me to a door and a teenage
          boy beat me with a bamboo rod. I was told his parents were killed by
          American bombs. We rested by day, and marched by night. I walked on rice
          paddy dikes, and couldn't see a thing. They would strike these little
          homemade lighters and by the sparks they made, see four or five steps. I
          was always falling off the dikes into the rice paddy water and had to be
          pulled back up. It was rough. On the way, I saw men, women and kids in
          tiger cages, and bamboo jails. I was taken to a camp, which must have been
          a medical facility as my wound was festering and full of maggots and I was
          sick. A woman heated up a rifle-cleaning rod and gave me a bamboo stick to
          bite on. She cauterized my through and through wound with the cleaning rod
          and I almost passed out with pain. She then dressed the wound with
          mercurochrome and gave me two aspirin. I thought, what else can they do to
          me. I was to find out. | 
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        After
          walking for about a month through plains, then jungles and mountains,
          always west, they took me to a camp. I had been expecting a PW camp like a
          stalag with Hogan's Heroes; barbed wire, search lights, nice guards and
          red cross packages - and a hospital where I could work as a doctor. They
          took me to a darkened hut with an oriental prisoner who was not American.
          I didn't know whether he was Vietnamese, Cambodian, Laotian or Chinese. He
          spoke no English and was dying of TB. He was emaciated, weak, sick and
          coughed all day and night. I spent two days there and an English-speaking
          Vietnamese officer came with a portable tape recorder and asked me to make
          a statement against the war. I told him that I would rather die than speak
          against my country. His words which were unforgettable and if I ever write
          a book, will be the title. He said, "You will find that dying is very
          easy; living, living is the difficult thing." | 
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        A few
          days later, in a driving rain, we started the final trek to camp. I was
          tied again, without boots, and we ascended higher and higher in the
          mountains. I was weak and asked to stop often and rest. We ate a little
          rice which the guards cooked. We actually needed ropes to traverse some of
          the steep rocks. Finally, we got to PW camp one. There were four American
          servicemen there, two from the US and two from Puerto Rico. Three were
          Marines and one in the Army. These guys looked horrible. They wore black
          PJs, were scrawny with bad skin and teeth and beards and matted hair. The
          camp also had about 15 ARVNs who were held separately, across a bamboo
          fence. The camp was just a row of hootches made of bamboo with elephant
          grass roofs around a creek, with a hole in the ground for a latrine. This
          was the first of five camps we lived in the South-all depressingly
          similar, although sometimes we had a separate building for a kitchen and
          sometimes we were able to pipe in water thru bamboo pipes from a nearby
          stream. | 
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        I
          asked one of the Marines, the man captured longest and the leader, if
          escape was possible. He told me that he and a special forces CPT had tried
          to escape the year before and the CPT had been beaten to death, while he
          had been put in stocks for 90 days, having to defecate in his hands and
          throw it away from him or lie in it. The next day I was called before the
          camp commander and chastised and yelled at for suggesting escape. My
          fellow PW then told me never to say anything to him that I didn't want
          revealed, because the Vietnamese controlled his mind. I threatened to kill
          him for informing on me. He just smiled and said I would learn. Our
          captors promised us that if we made progress and understood the evils of
          the war they would release us. And the next day, they released the two
          Puerto Ricans and 14 ARVNs PWs. The people released wore red sashes
          andgave anti-war speeches. Just before the release, they brought in
          another 7 American PWs from the 196th Light Bde who were captured in the
          TET offensive of 1968. I managed to write our names, ranks and serial
          numbers on a piece of paper and slip it to one of the PRs who was
          released. They transported the information home and in Mar 68 and our
          families learned we had been captured alive. | 
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        We
          were held in a series of jungle camps from Jan. 68 to Feb 71. At this
          time, conditions were so bad and we were doing so poorly, that they
          decided to move us to North Vietnam. They moved 12 of us. In all, 27
          Americans had come through the camp. Five had been released and ten had
          died. | 
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        They
          died of their wounds, disease, malnutrition and starvation. One was shot
          while trying to escape. All but one died in my arms after a lingering,
          terrible illness. Five West German nurses in a neutral nursing
          organization, called the Knights of Malta, similar to our own Red Cross,
          had been picked up (I always thought by mistake) by the VC in the spring
          of 69. Three of them died and the other two were taken to North Vietnam in
          1969 and held until the end of the war. | 
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        The
          twelve who made it were moved to North Vietnam on foot. The fastest group,
          of which I was one, made it in 57 days. The slowest group took about 180
          days. It was about 900km. We walked thru Laos and Cambodia to the Ho Chi
          Minh trail and then up the trail across the DMZ until Vinh. At Vinh, we
          took a train 180 miles to Hanoi in about 18 hours. We traveled with
          thousands of ARVN PWs who had been captured in Lam Song 719, an ARVN
          incursion into Laos in 1971. | 
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        Once
          in Hanoi, we stayed in an old French prison called The Citadel or as we
          said, The Plantation until Christmas 72 when the X-mas bombing destroyed
          Hanoi. Then we were moved to the Hoa Lo or Hanoi Hilton for about three
          months. The peace was signed in Jan 73 and I came home on Mar 16 with the
          fourth group. In the North we were in a rough jail. There was bucket in
          the windowless, cement room used as a latrine. An electric bulb was on 24
          hours. We got a piece of bread and a cup of pumpkin soup each day and
          three cups of hot water. We slept on pallets of wood and wore PJs and
          sandals and got three tailor made cigarettes per day. We dry shaved and
          bathed with a bucket from a well twice per week, got out of the cell to
          carry our latrine bucket daily. | 
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        Towards
          the end, they let us exercise. There were no letters or packages for us
          from the south, but I understood some of the pilots who had been there
          awhile got some things. In the summer, it was 120 in the cell and they
          gave us little bamboo fans. But there were officers and a rank structure
          and commo done through a tap code on the walls. No one died. It was hard
          duty, but not the grim struggle for survival which characterized daily
          life in the camps in the south. In the north, I knew I would survive. In
          the south, we often wanted to die. I knew that when they ordered us north,
          I would make it. In the south, each day was a struggle for survival. There
          were between three and twenty-four PWs at all times. We ate three coffee
          cups of rice per day. In the rainy season, the ration was cut to two cups.
          I'm not talking about nice white rice, Uncle Ben's. I'm talking about rice
          that was red, rotten, and eaten out by bugs and rats, cached for years,
          shot through with rat feces and weevils. We arose at 4, cooked rice on
          wood ovens made of mud. We couldn't burn a fire in the daytime or at night
          unless the flames and smoke were hidden, so we had these ovens constructed
          of mud which covered the fire and tunnels which carried the smoke away. We
          did slave labor during the day, gathering wood, carrying rice, building
          hootches, or going for manioc, a starchy tuberous plant like a potato. The
          Vietnamese had chickens and canned food. We never got supplements unless
          we were close to dying then maybe some canned sardines or milk. We died
          from lack of protein and calories. We swelled up with what is called
          hungry edema and beriberi. We had terrible skin disease, dysentery, and
          malaria. Our compound was littered with piles of human excrement because
          people were just too sick or weak to make it to the latrine. | 
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        We
          slept on one large pallet of bamboo. So the sick vomited and defecated and
          urinated on the bed and his neighbor. For the first two years, we had no
          shoes, clothes, mosquito nets or blankets. Later, in late 69, we got
          sandals, rice sacks for blankets, and a set of clothes. We nursed each
          other and helped each other, but we also fought and bickered. In a PW
          situation the best and the worst come out. Any little flaw transforms
          itself into a glaring lack. The strong can rule the weak. There is no law
          and no threat of retribution. I can report to you that the majority of the
          time, the Americans stuck together, helped each other and the strong
          helped the weak. But there were exceptions and sometimes the stronger took
          advantage of the weaker ones. There was no organization, no rank
          structure. The VC forbid the men from calling me Doc, and made me the
          latrine orderly to break down rank structure. I was officially forbidden
          from practicing medicine. But I hoarded medicine, had the men fake malaria
          attacks and dysentery so we could acquire medicine and keep it until we
          needed it. Otherwise, it might not come. I tried to advise the men about
          sanitary conditions, about nutrition and to keep clean, active and eat
          everything we could; rats, bugs, leaves, etc. We had some old rusty razor
          blades, and I did minor surgery, lancing boils, removing foreign bodies,
          etc. with them, but nothing major. | 
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        At
          one time, in the summer of 68, I was offered the chance to work in a VC
          hospital and receive a higher ration. The NVA Political officer, who made
          the offer and was there to indoctrinate us, said it had been done in WW
          II. I didn't believe him and didn't want to do it anyway, so I refused and
          took my chances. Later, upon return, I learned that American Army doctors
          in Europe in WW II, had indeed worked in hospitals treating German
          soldiers. But I'm glad now I did what I did. We had a 1st Sergeant who had
          been in Korea and in WW II. He died in the fall of 68 and we were
          forbidden from calling him "Top". The VC broke him fast. I was
          not allowed to practice medicine unless a man was 30 minutes away from
          dying, then they came down with their little bottles of medicine and said
          "Cure him!" At one point we were all dying of dysentery and I
          agreed to sign a propaganda statement in return for chloromycetin, a
          strong antibiotic, to treat our sick. Most of us were seriously ill,
          although a few never got sick, maintained their health and their weight. I
          never figured it out. | 
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        When
          a man died, we buried him in a bamboo coffin and said some words over his
          grave and marked it with a pile of rocks. I was forced to sign a death
          certificate in Vietnamese. I did this 13 times. The worst period was the
          fall of 68. We lost five men between Sept and Christmas. Shortly before
          the end of Nov., I thought I was going to lose my mind. All of these fine
          young strong men were dying. It would have been so easy to live, just
          nutrition, fluids, and antibiotics. I knew what to do, but had no means to
          help them. I was depressed and didn't care whether I lived or died myself.
          At this time, we were simply starving to death. As an example of how crazy
          we were, we decided to kill the camp commander's cat. Several of us killed
          it, and skinned it. We cut off its head and paws and it dressed out to
          about three pounds. We were preparing to boil it when one of the guards
          came down and asked us what was going on. We told him we had killed a
          weasel by throwing a rock. The guards raised chickens and the chickens
          were always being attacked by weasels. Well, the guard, who was a
          Montagnard, an aborigine, found the feet, and knew it was the cat. The
          situation became very serious. The guards and cadre were mustered..it was
          about 3 am. The prisoners were lined up and a Marine and I were singled
          out to be beaten. He was almost beaten to death. I was beaten badly, tied
          up with commo wire very tightly (I thought my hands would fall off and
          knew I would never do surgery again) for over a day. I had to bury the
          cat. And I was disappointed I didn't get to eat it. That's how crazy I
          was. | 
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        Shortly
          thereafter, the Marine who had been beaten so badly died. He didn't have
          to. He simply gave up, like so many. Marty Seligman, a professor of
          ology at University of Pennsylvania has written a book about these
          feelings called Learned Helplessness and Death. The Marine simply lay on
          his bamboo bed, refused to eat, wash or get up and died. So many did this.
          We tried to force them to eat, and to be active, but nothing worked. It
          was just too hard. This Marine wavered in and out of coma for about two
          weeks. It was around Thanksgiving, the end of November. The rains had been
          monstrous and our compound was a muddy morass littered with piles of
          feces. David Harker of Lynchburg, VA and I sat up with him all night. He
          hadn't spoken coherently for over a week. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and
          looked right at me. He said, "Mom, dad...I love you very much. Box
          10, Dubberly, Louisiana." That was Nov 68. | 
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        We
          all escaped the camp in the south. Five were released as propaganda
          gestures. Ten Americans and three Germans died and twelve Americans and
          two Germans made it back. I am the only PW who was captured before the end
          of 67 to survive that camp. I came back Mar 16, 1973 and stayed in the
          hospital in Valley Forge, PA for a month getting fixed up with several
          operations and then went on convalescent leave. The first thing I did was
          go to Dubberly, LA and see the Marine's father. His parents had divorced
          while he was captured. I went to see five of the families of those that
          died and called the others on the phone. | 
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        It
          was a terrible experience, but there is some good to come from it. I
          learned a lot. I learned about the human spirit. I learned about
          confidence in yourself. I learned about loyalty to your country and its
          ideals and to your friends and comrades. No task would ever be too hard
          again. I had renewed respect for what we have and swore to learn my
          country's history in depth (I have done it) and to try to contribute to my
          community and set an example for my children and employees. I stayed on
          active duty until 77 when I was honorably discharged and entered the
          reserve from which I retired an as O-6 in 86. I have a busy medical
          practice down in Florida and been remarkably successful. I am active in my
          community in a number of ways and despite being drenched with Agent Orange
          a number of times and having some organs removed, have enjoyed great
          health. Except for some arthritis and prostate trouble, I'm doing great.
          So I was lucky...very lucky and I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful for
          my life and I have no bitterness. I feel so fortunate to have survived and
          flourished when so many braver, stronger and better trained men did not. | 
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    | In
      everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums
      up the Law and the prophets. Matt 7:12 | 
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