This was our
head hooch maid Tanh.
This particular noon, 2 days after
the OP9 incident, as we awoke, we heard the hooch maids in their sing
song, melodic chatter seem quite a bit more vocal than normal. One of
our hooch maids, named Tanh, was an elderly, pretty articulate lady who
was well educated and could speak very good English. She was the wife
of the mayor of Cam Ranh village/city. I really liked Tanh and learned
a lot from her about her culture and the Vietnamese people from the many
talks I had with her at the hooch. She used to bring us traditional Vietnamese
food to try for lunch and some was good and some was just barely or not
palatable. I was the only one of guys to have the guts to try the food.
Anyway, we asked what all the
ruckus was about and Tanh explained in her very good English that the
village was very upset and outraged about a local fisherman, his wife
and 5 children that had been out fishing and had motor trouble while out
on the sea side of the peninsula. She then exclaimed that all of them
had been killed. The words hit me like the recoil of my .50 Cal. I, of
course, never responded or mentioned a thing, mostly due to shame and
guilt. None of my hooch mates said a word either, since some of them were
track team members also. This was pretty shocking and unexpected news.
The truth of that night out on OP9, to my knowledge, was never known by
Tanh or any of the other hundreds of hooch maids. The incident was never
brought up by anybody that was aware of what happened after that day.
Because of Tanh's ability to speak very good English, the news that day
was a burden I carried for the rest of the year I was at Cam Ranh Bay and for all
these many, many years since, right up to today.
I really don't dwell on this nor do I lose
sleep over it, but there is always that lingering doubt that festers in
the back of my mind. I try to convince myself that things do happen in
war that you can't predict or avoid. Deep inside it haunts me to think
that the cries of outrage from the people of that village lay directly
on my shoulders and my conscience forever, if it was true. I have silently
told myself many times that this was just one of the many tragedies of
war or it may really have been some propaganda or maybe that it did not
even happen. I know I was only doing my duty and following orders. I also
understand that many, many innocent people suffer and die in war torn
countries. I only hope the incident the hooch maids were upset about that
day was really propaganda or some anti American untruth. I guess only
God knows the truth and will forgive.
So ... If I could change just one thing about my tour at CRB, from
March 1, 1970 until March 2, 1971, it would be to have never heard that
news..., that it may have been by my hand that an innocent family, a man,
his wife and 5 small children, in trouble may have perished due to my direct
involvement. I know that all of us that served in the RVN realized that
we all technically had some indirect responsibility for some innocent peoples
lives being lost, due to bombing runs, suspected enemy village strafing
etc. and just by being in country during the war. The direct responsibility,
when it involves you personally, is a little harder to cope with.