In Country - Day One
I was a Marine in VN in 1967-1968. In
May of last year I returned to VN with other Vietvets. We spent a few
days in Saigon and then flew to Đà Nẵng. Landing in Đà Nẵng, I felt my
emotions overtaking me. After all, this was the place I left from the
last time. After a short ride to the Đà Nẵng terminal we went inside for
our bags. Looking out the doors I saw the mountains with the clouds
covering the tops -- I was back!
Feeling my emotions getting the
best of me I stepped outside so the others would not see. Standing there
looking far away, a Vietnamese came up to me and asked what was I doing.
I told him I was just watching the planes. Seeing the tears in my eyes
he asked me if I had been here before. I said yes, in 1967. He put his
hand gently on my shoulder and walked away. As if on cue, MIGs began
buzzing the runway. Vietnam is such a nice place in peace!
PART - ONE
Vietnam! I was a Marine there in
1967-1968. I just escaped with my life three days after Tet 1968. I have
seen others return to Vietnam on T. V., but never-ever did I think of
going back to that country. Then turning fifty with more than half my
life gone my thoughts returned to the past. At the same time the Marine
Webmaster of my unit's site is running a trip back to Vietnam. He has
been back twice before. I thought I'd like to see it one more time
before I die. Was that not the place that changed my life for good
and bad? Had I not gone from a boy to a man in that far off place?
The return trip was a ways off and
I did a lot of research ahead of time. However, the time passed fast. I
was really going back!
May 2000, on to a hotel in L. A.
where I would meet my group for the trip. My leader Bill (machine
gunner), his son, Zach, Ron (arty), Don (world traveler), Grady (radio
op. ) , Jim and Greg (corpsman), Larry (army no combat), Shane (son of
Grady), Mark (his father KIA, VN), Don (video producer), Mickey
(cameraman), Jim (channel 9 news, Denver).
None of us knew with each other in
the war. And so after a few beers that night, we were off on the long
flight. Japan, then a night in Bangkok. The next morning a flight to
Saigon. Looking out the window at the rice paddies as we close in on the
runway, I see the old concrete roofs our planes used to sit under. I
have never been to Saigon before, or in any Vietnamese city.
We are met by our guide, An. He is
maybe in his twenties. A very gentile man. All of us are struck by the
red flags with the yellow star flying from the airport buildings. A full
sized bus waits for us. On the drive to town there are many Honda's on
the road. An explains in the U. S. you drive on the right, in England on
the left, in Vietnam the middle of the road. Crazy! There are many shops
and hotels along the road. Everywhere color. The hotel is three-star,
very nice like any in the U. S. It is on a busy street not far from the
Saigon River.
Soon we are off to the former South
Vietnamese Palace. I am shocked when the bus just drives through the
gate. Before we enter the building we walked back to the fence, near a
NVA tank. It is the tank that crashed the fence at the end of the war.
Standing there the T.V. pictures roll in my head. I see the NVA men
running up to the building and flying their flag. It is just so unreal
standing in that spot. Bill walks by and says, "Pretty heady stuff,
huh!" Yeah! I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be standing on
this spot.
There is a little girl selling
postcards and stamps in front of the hotel. Perfect English, she steals
our hearts. We have to buy stuff from her. If you say 'no thanks' she
says 'that's not good enough, I need the money!' Saigon is the place to
buy stuff. Everything is so cheap. Dinner is Vietnamese food. I almost
barfed at the table when I ate a piece of meat! To be fair Vietnamese
food on the whole is very good.
Day two is a trip to Chu Chi
tunnels. I don't care about them, but at least I would be in the
countryside. There are many non-military Russian trucks on the road.
Vietnam is a beehive, on the move. At Chu Chi I found a jeep, like new,
with all our makings. Even a USMC on the bumper. Somebody caught hell a
long time ago when he lost it!
Day three is a flight to Đà Nẵng.
Coming in I felt that my life had come full circle. This had been the
place I went home from. I felt my emotion building inside of me. After a
short bus ride we went inside the terminal for our bags. Standing there,
looking out the door at the mountains across the runway my emotions were
getting the best of me. I went outside the door so the others would not
see my tears. A Vietnamese man came up to me and asked what was I doing?
I said 'Just watching the planes'. He must have seen my eyes because he
asked if I had been here before?. I said 1968. He touched my shoulder
and walked away. Just then MIGs buzzed the runway. More to come. Jim
PART - TWO
A full size tour bus awaits us at
the Đà Nẵng Airport and we are off to the hotel. This is a so-so hotel but it will do. We have another guide with us: Tru. He is a smart
person and comes from a village on the Cua Viet River. His village was
the last place I was at in the field in 1968. Tru is funny and likes to
screw with us. He likes to yell "VC" and points to the tree
line. Also we have a government media man with us to watch over the T.V. crew. I don't like him one damn bit. He has the look and feel of my
old enemy from the north. He is always on the cell phone. After checking
in we are off to China Beach. Đà Nẵng seems a little poor but the
Vietnamese smile, wave and say hello. They answer the phone with 'hello'
so it is a word in English they all know.
China Beach is great and only one
hotel (5-star) on the water. Wandering around I found a school group of
boys. They must all think I'm John Wayne because they want the teacher
to take a picture of me with them. I took one of their group and it
turned out to be a great photo. After being bored a while I told Bill I
was walking up the beach a bit. Turning to my left I started back toward
my group. Some Vietnamese men, drinking beer invite me over. One hands
me his beer. They want to know where I'm from and how do I like it here.
They never say but the are military from the air base. I kept telling
them I had to go but they were so nice. I would have been glad to stay
with them if I could. As a group we are getting to know and like each
other. I'm feeling the brotherhood of old with the vets. Greg wants to
go to a village near the base of Marble Mountain he was in during the
war. He knew a Vietnamese girl and wanted to know what happened to her.
As it turned out she is in the U. S. When he showed her picture to the
family they cried.
As always the kids are around us.
Most Vietnamese are young and don't remember. It is so good to see them
happy healthy and dressed with clean clothes. As in the war years we had
stuff to give them. I have a rubber clown nose and they love it. In my
pocket a fake eye. I make believe I remove an eye and show them the fake
one. They all believe it and go ahhh!
After dinner we go to the bars in
town. Marine tradition! I'm not much of a drinker now but the beer is
real good. '333"<BABA BA>AND TIGER beer. Coke and Pepsi are
here too.
Next day it is Marble Mountain. We
climb many stairs. It has a lot of pagodas and it is Buddha's birthday.
Inside near the top is a cave the VC used during the war. We ran into a
group of former VC. They are old men but they are biking the country to
promote good health. They are invited to dine with us tonight on China
Beach. A few show up. One has a son in the U. S. Everything goes well. I
feel no hate towards them, strangely. They are very nice to us. Tomorrow
we're going to Hue. I feel somehow at home here.
PART - THREE
Today we leave Đà Nẵng for Hue, by
bus. We travel Route-1 over the Hai Van Pass. It is a two lane twisting
road over the mountains over looking the South China Sea and Đà Nẵng
harbor. It is raining lightly as we stop at the top. Two Vietnamese
girls huddle in a shack. They are postcard sales girls. Finding the weak
one of the bunch the sell their wares to Mark.
Soon only tourists will travel this
road. A new road with tunnels will be built lower down. During the war
the NVA would ambush the slow moving trucks on the Pass. As always my
face is glued to the window. I know I'll be home before I know it and I
don't want to miss anything. The Vietnamese smile and wave as we pass.
They must wonder who we are. It is so strange to see them living in
concrete houses with electricity and TVs. Also I saw many pool tables
covered with a thatch roof. The game is big time here. Hue, it is a bad
word to many vets. The NVA took over the town during Tet 1968. The
fighting was house to house for weeks. During my time I passed through
Hue in the back of a truck, a month before Tet.
We are staying at the Saigon Morin
Hotel. Built by the French in 1901 it is a real throw back of days long
gone. The service and food are great. Hue is a very old capital of
Vietnam and was a forbidden city, like China, with high thick walls and
a moat. The heavy fighting during Tet was here. Some of the buildings
survived the war and have been repaired. Walking around I do not like
this place. For me it's like walking in a grave yard. So many people
lost their lives here.
Walking around this small city I
found the people friendly and busy working. There is no sign of the war.
As in the other cities there are shops the kids play Nintendo games in
for a few cents. The city is much bigger than in 1968. Tonight we dine on
a boat in the Perfume River. My roommate and I are always up early and
so are the Vietnamese. They go to the river at down to exercise or play
games. Standing next to the Perfume River I reflect on a life that has
gone full circle returning here. Somehow I feel so at home here. I wish
I could stay along time here. All too soon it is time to leave for Đông Hà and the DMZ.
PART - FOUR
Hue. At the end of 1967 my unit was
being transported by truck north on Highway-1 to Quang Tri. After
passing many poor Vietnamese on the road we passed Hue. I remember a
stone arch and an old French church. I remember thinking, as we passed
that I wished this war would end. Not for me or my fellow Marines but
for these poor Vietnamese who are caught in the middle of this terrible
war.
The one place I want to go to on
this trip is that spot. Just to stand there one more time all these
years later. It is not to be. I try to find it, but everything has
changed. This is the story of Vietnam today--change.
I went to the market. In Vietnam
one of the things that strikes you is the food. During the war I felt
anything would grow here. The Vietnamese have proven me right. Corn
fields here, fruits of all kinds, so much food everywhere you look.
Still no fat Vietnamese! They are so healthy they make me sick. They
make fun of the old fat American!
PART - FIVE
Đông Hà, now we're heading north on
the bus. Somewhere near Quang Tri we stop on a side road for drinks or
pictures. I found myself standing alone next to our bus. A Vietnamese
Army truck is lumbering down route one. The truck is full of troops with
their pith helmets and light brown uniforms. I'm not glad to see these
people dressed like my old enemy. The truck turns onto the road I'm
standing on. As it passes a soldier waves and smiles at me. Perhaps he
saw the look on my face. So what can I do? I smile and wave back. With
that all the soldiers stand up and smile and wave back. They are still
doing it into the distance. How can I be mad? A magic moment.
There are less people as we go
along. Đông Hà is small as we pull up to The Đông Hà Hotel. This is a
Marine hotel. I think the Marine who owns it was a drill instructor.
Each room has at least one insect of every kind. There is a VC lizard
four inches long in my room. I know he is VC cause he slips through my
hands and I can't catch him.
Today we are going to Khe Sanh,
Rock pile and so on. I know everything we had there is long gone and
there is not much to see but it is a chance to be in the field with the
people. Stopping at a "truck stop" for drinks I'm looking for
a good picture outside.
The building is of grass open on
the sides. Inside are Vietnamese truck drivers drinking beer. Outside I
see a little boy, dressed only in a shirt. He is about two years old. As
I raise my camera to take his picture he is gone around the corner.
Cursing my luck I go and sit on the bus. Looking out the window I see
the little boy inside. Grabbing a little toy truck I go inside. The boy
is in the center of the room and I offer the toy to him. He won't take
it. He's shy! Looking up I see all the Vietnamese have stopped what they
were doing and are watching us. What to do? I back up a few feet and
roll the truck over to his bare feet. As the boy picks up the truck all
the Vietnamese shout "hooray" and give me the thumbs up. I
never get his photo but this picture will always be with me.
PART - SIX
Quang Tri Province, The Rock pile,
Camp Carroll, all our former bases are empty spaces with no sign we were
ever there. We stop at a mountain village. The people here are the
poorest people in Vietnam. An old man, smoking a pipe, motions that he
is hungry and sick. I slip a few bucks in his hand and put my arm around
him. I tell him with my eyes that I'm sorry and that I care. Many times
during the war the same scene would happen except I would have given him
my food. Soon things will change for these people as a major north south
road is coming through. I hope so.
Back at the Đông Hà Hotel, Mark and
I go down the street and buy a flower wreath for his Dad. Mark was two
years old when his father was killed in Vietnam. He was a Marine copter
pilot on a emergency resupply mission to Con Thien. A hill near the DMZ.
Vietnam and his father are only stories to him. He has traveled half way
around the world to make them both more real. Because of GPS we can go
to almost the exact spot where his Dad died. Mark is a fine man and we
are all sad for his loss.
Next day we are going to Mutters
Ridge where a couple of men in our group had fought in a battle. The
weather is perfect--light rain. The bus can't get in close on the muddy
road and we have a long walk ahead. Rubber trees and red mud on my white
sneakers and pants. After while a few farms and some kids. One of our
guys is out of shape and falls behind with a guide. A old Vietnamese man
invites them into his home to rest. He tells the American he lost his
whole family in the war.
Now we are on a trail in the woods.
No people live here. We come across an area of B52 craters with wild
flowers growing out of them. At last we are there. I decide not to climb
the hill. Our guys find their old fox holes on top. Back down, they are
cut up from the grass. After a long walk back, we're back on the bus
after some snacks.
Off to Con Thien for Mark. I'm not
happy to be going there, both for Mark and myself. I had been on a very
bitter operation at that place during the war. As we walk from the bus I
feel the build up of my emotion inside.
The place where Mark's dad died is
now a clearing in the woods. Mark and Greg , a former Corpsman are alone
in the clearing as the rest of us wait a little way inside the woods.
Mark lays the wreath and puts some soil in a baggie. Kneeling he starts
to cry very loudly. His cries tare through me and I must look away.
Turning, I saw the government man and the other Vietnamese watching me.
I'm over come with sadness for this man and his dad. At last his cries
are gone and I look up to see two Vietnamese boys with their cows. They
wonder who these strange people are and what is going on. They have no
memory of war.
As I am coming into the clearing
Bill and his son are hugging Mark. When they are done I tell Mark that
any father would be proud to have him for a son. Looking around the
clearing is full of wild flowers as if planted for this day. As we ready
to leave, our Vietnamese guides light incense around the wreath, in the
Buddhists' way, and honor the father and the son. We are very touched by
their kindness. Later, at the hotel I saw the government man hugging
Mark in the lobby ... I was very wrong about him. Here is a kind man
with a good heart.
Bill says tomorrow we are going to
stop at a NVA graveyard to repay the kindness of the Vietnamese today.
In my heart I want no part of it. To honor the NVA dead! Perhaps the
Vietnamese felt that way today.
